Trust

I trust where I am, because I’m the one that made the choices that led me here. And I trust myself, even though it hasn’t been easy to come by. It’s been far easier for me to trust in a higher power, a superior intelligence – I always have; but I got to a point where I didn’t trust myself to accurately perceive, so I couldn’t trust anything. I’ve had to prove myself to myself, and I’m one of the most resistant people I’ve ever met. (There are reasons for that, as I’ve discovered along the way – both experiences of the past as well as the pure essence of my nature and how I choose to maneuver my way through this journey I’m on.) Needless to say, it’s been no small feat.

Over the course of it, I’ve witnessed myself perservering. In the most trying moments, I’ve been called back to an interaction I had some time ago with my stepfather. I was a teenager and I was struggling with something – I forget exactly what. And he said to me, “You’ll come through this. I’ve seen it. You always do.” (Or something along those lines.) I’ve had quite a year, and those words have rung in my head numerous times. I’ve found refuge in them and in that tiny little slice of life where they once existed. A moment of being seen, held in my aura. It’s remarkable to me how something so seemingly innoculous became a key into recognizing something I didn’t see about myself. It brought me out of a deep dark, and I’m so grateful for that. (And I’ll share this with him, of course; so he knows.)

Those moments we hold in our memories are there for a reason. Every single one of them. Trust.